I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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