Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
