Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
