I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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