Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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