What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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