I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
