question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
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