There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
