so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
