Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
