I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
