Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Randomize
