Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
