I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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