good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
