this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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