In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
