dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
we're so committed to being not committed
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize