carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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