I'm lost and stupid without you.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
organizing the empties. That sober.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
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