i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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