She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
