stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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