Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
