just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
