She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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