How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize