Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize