I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
