are you so shy because you have an std?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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