Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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