i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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