In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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