so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
