totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
