Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
