The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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