Ambien. No doubt about it.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
