You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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