I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
