Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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