I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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