Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
