just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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