ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Sacagawea was the original milf.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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