The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
