its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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