Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
