we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
