hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
