oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
