She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
50% drunk capacity currently
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
