I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
