You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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