your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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