Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
