You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
