It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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