he told me I talked like a deaf person
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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