David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
