does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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