I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
